The other night, I made a brand-new dish for dinner (if you’re into plant-based cooking and haven’t checked out Deliciously Ella yet, I highly recommend it). The dish had a unique flavor profile, and I wasn’t sure how my kids would receive it. So, I used a strategy that I use in feeding therapy with clients—I not only served the new dish, but I also made sure there were plenty of familiar, preferred options too. And how did it go? The kids happily ate their familiar fruits and vegetables and tried a few bites of the new dish, but most importantly, there was no fussing or stress! I trusted myself as a parent to make proper food choices but I trusted my kids to know what they would eat and how much.
Picky eating is extremely common, but it’s also preventable and reversable! With consistency, confidence, and increased exposure to new foods, even the pickiest of eaters can learn to expand their diet.
One of the best ways to build a strong and flexible child-food relationship is by empowering CHILDREN. That’s right—giving KIDS the POWER to make food choices for themselves. No more forcing, negotiating, or short-order cooking.
Now, I can hear your skepticism: “If I give my kid all of the power, they’re just going to eat [X, Y, or Z].” That’s where regular exposure to new or non-preferred foods comes in. The more times a child sees, smells, and touches a food, the more likely they will be to TRY it. The more times a child tries a new food, the more likely they will actually begin to LIKE it.
So how do we simultaneously empower kids but expose them to new foods? The answer is having a little bit of both familiar and uncomfortable at the table as well as having specific boundaries around the parent’s role and the child’s role at mealtime. You, as the parent, decide what goes on the table. Your child decides what they will eat and how much.
This “division of responsibility:”
Increases children’s self-esteem
Decreases stress for the child (and thus the parent)
Increases the child’s interest in food exploration
And when you have new/uncomfortable foods on the table, they become easily accessible to explore. So many times, I’ve seen clients and even my own children reach for something you never expected. But if that food wasn’t on the table, the child never would have been able to explore it!
Building the child-food relationship is about trust—in ourselves and our children. We, as parents, can trust ourselves to curate a meal that balances nutrition, familiarity, taste, and comfort. At the same time, we can also trust our kids to decide what and how much they will eat at the table and whether they are ready to try a new food. The best that we can do is give them choices but also give them opportunities to explore.
Disclaimer:
If you have an extremely picky eater, this "division of responsibility" will be critical, but your child may need more specific feeding therapy to address any underlying sensory, motor, or medical factors. Reach out to The Wishing Well OT or a local pediatric occupational therapy or speech therapy clinic in your area to learn more.
Recommended Reading:
Satter, E. (2000). Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. Bull Publishing Company: Boulder, CO.